So I was sitting at the counter last week looking at medical bills and insurance forms...$400 for having my daughter's planter wart on her foot removed, $200 for my son to just see the ophthalmologist plus another $200 for yet another pair of glasses (unbreakable this time) and an upcoming bill of an unknown amount for our two-year old to have a tooth pulled out because the hyper-active boy smacked it on a coffee table and now it has to come out.
But I was sitting there not stressed, but overflowing with thankfulness. To God, yes, but at this particular moment to my husband too. My eyes were brimming with tears not out of stress or sadness but thankfulness for his career that carries excellent benefits. He had just gotten home from a sleepless shift at work, working hard to earn an income and health benefits for our family, while I, in turn, had slept a full 8 hours in a cozy bed, had a fairly calm morning with plenty of coffee and a delicious english muffin.
Sometimes I feel so guilty. He works so hard, and spends so little of his income on himself. Rather, I'm the one who doesn't earn the money yet spends the money (which is even more heightened these days with all the Christmas shopping I've been doing).
Not that being a stay-at-home-mom is a cakewalk, but it is fabulous. For example, right now my kids are watching a movie and I'm drinking coffee and blogging. Needless to say, I have a sweet life. And sometimes I feel guilty for being so dependent on this hard-working man.
So my eyes brimming with tears, I said, "Thank you so much for having a career. What would we do without you? Thank you for health insurance and and vision insurance and dental insurance! And thank you for medical flex money (as annoying as the paperwork is) that saves us hundreds on taxes! Thank you for making all the money and bringing us insurance so I don't have to! Instead I got to do three puzzles and bake muffins yesterday."
And he, chuckling, put on his best teacher voice and said, "Well Rebecca, we have a symbiotic relationship you know!"
I said, blank stare, "Huh?"
(Doesn't he know that I somehow got through college without taking a science course??!)
And then my very sexy husband went on to explain that just like remora fish live on sharks and eat the shark's parasites, keeping the shark parasite-free, so we are mutually dependent on one another as husband and wife.
(Symbiotic: the relationship between two different kinds of living things that live together and depend on each other.)
So here I am, with insurance papers scattered all around me, crying for thankfulness, and my sexy husband busts out the science lesson on symbiosis. I just stared at him, and when he was done with the little lesson about sharks and sucker fish, I said, "That might be the sexiest thing I've ever heard."
Not your typical bedroom-talk, but so much sexier than anything I've ever heard in a movie, that's for sure. Real life, marital co-dependence. I'm not sure it gets any sexier than that.
My husband is a big, strong, hard-working man. Yet, he is dependent on me and he knows it. And he embraces it. Fully capable on his own, he chooses daily to depend on me to care for his children and shop for his food and cook his meals and care for our home and to love him well. He is dependent on me and he loves that I (and four children) are dependent on him.
In a culture that constantly screams "Do it yourself!" and "Independence!" and "You don't need marriage!" and "Don't lose yourself when you get married!" and "A wife is just a ball and chain!" my husband chooses symbiosis.
And that might be the sexiest thing I've ever heard.